Why I Can’t Become a Fanjaya


By this point,  the vast majority of US population, and probably beyond, is familiar with the story of one Sanjaya Malakar.  I’m admittedly torn on this story:  on one hand, I view Sanjaya as a bumbling, no-talent clown.  On the other, I like the fact he’s from Seattle and applaud his continued success in moving forward on “American Idol” with true “layman’s” singing capabilities.  Plus, he’s single handedly putting a massive franchise at risk in the event he wins the show in a couple months time–no small feat by any stretch, especially for a 17-year old who didn’t graduate from high school (he obtained his GED instead as the rumor goes.)

Simon Cowell is reportedly saying that he won’t return to the show as a judge if Sanjaya wins this season.  Some commentators have remarked that the judges seemed to have stopped giving thoughtful critiques of Malakar’s performances due to their disdain that he has gone so far in the competition (according to Wikipedia.)  Others, such as former contestant Constantine Maroulis, expressed concern that each week Malakar remains in the competition is further damaging the show’s credibility as a search for the next big talent for the music industry,[16] and some believe that it could be a shark jumping moment for American Idol if Malakar wins.[17]

My question is this–what does it mean and what would happen in the event Sanjaya does, in fact, win “American Idol” this year?   Here are some thoughts on the matter:   

  • Would it mean that Roseanne Barr could become victorious in the next episode of “American’s Top Model?” 
  • Could Patrick Dempsey win “Dancing with the Stars” while only selecting to perform his dance moves from the classic 1987 flic Can’t Buy Me Love? 
  • Will a total no-name, with the last name of, say, “Johnson” win the Masters?  Oh, umm, never mind on that one…
  • Could Dustin Diamond, using his Screech  personality, win in the next season of the “Apprentice?” 
  • Will K-Fed be selected as the next “Bachelor” and win the heart and mind of one of the candidates, say SI’s Bar Refaeli

The horror.  As humorous as it all sounds, and as much as I’d like to, I just can’t become a Fanjaya.  Please, fella, for the love of all that is good with reality TV, please start singing and acting like a legitimately talented person so that someone like Blake Lewis can win this thing and normalcy will resume. 


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Filed under Pop Culture, TV

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