Coffee Names

I was in a Peet’s Coffee today when a friend and business colleague of mine did something unusual.  When the girl behind the cash register asked him for his name, he replied, “Ted.”  However, his name was not Ted and, thus, I shot him a surprised look. 

“Ted” explained to me that “Ted” is, in fact, his “coffee name.”  Why might one have a coffee name you ask?  In the instance where one’s name is either difficult to pronounce or difficult to spell, it makes sense to coin an alternative identity referred to, in this case, as a “coffee name.”  Here, it’s utterly irrelevant whether the person behind the cash register knows your true identity nor does it matter if the barista gets the spelling correctly on the coffee cup.  It’s a simpler, and rather humorous approach, to going through the near ritualistic daily process now of ordering a latte or mate or whatever your preferred beverage may be.  The only catch is making sure you remember your “coffee name” when the barista shouts it out upon completion of your order.   

BTW, “Ted,” if Jerry Seinfeld comes calling me about this post subject for future material is his stand-up routine, I’ll share with you some of the royalties…


1 Comment

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One response to “Coffee Names

  1. Brian B

    I was once in a Nevada steak house when the PA system announced that a table was ready for “Donner, party of six.” I hope that was their “restaurant name.”

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